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I'm vividly remembering Thanksgiving of 7th grade this year.

That year we had a 30-something pound turkey. Home-raised. That turkey was an absolute bastard. That dumb, dick turkey's head came to my shoulderblades and he'd peck me when I tried to feed him. That douche.

We started with four turkeys all together. Two males, two females. One got out of the pen and was eaten, immediately by coyotes. The three remaining... *sigh* I wish I could say that it was a fight to choose for the holiday... no. No there was no debate. That dumb douche bird got what was coming to him.

He sat on one of the females and broke her legs and she eventually starved to death. I remember my dad throwing her stiff body into the woods/field behind the pen.

Then there was two...

Dickbird and the other one. I am pretty sure someone's dog got this one, because we had turkey breasts in the freezer long before thanksgiving.

Then dickbird was alone. I remember chasing him around the yard with the riding mower...and getting chased when I tried feeding him.

I remember the day my dad wrestled dickbird into a crate and hauled him to be slaughtered. I had a basketball game... he dropped me off with a damn turkey in the back of his Chevette.

That year we had an ice storm. It was unreal. Everything was encased in ice. We sledded down the formerly-busy road to see all the accidents and jack-knifed semis stuck in various ditches. The power flickered, the lines arced, the road went unplowed.

And we had to cook dickbird. I remember waking up at 5am - I had to sleep downstairs because we had oil heat down there and electric upstairs. Sporadic electricity? 34 lb dickbird? Family from out of town?

That dickbird was delicious.


( 8 raindrops — Dance in the rain )
Nov. 25th, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
Nothing tastes better than hate and revenge. Dickbird was infused with both.

Turkeys and swans - they're both assholes.
Nov. 25th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
BEST read I've had all day!!!!!!!

Feb. 12th, 2010 05:40 am (UTC)
So, this is possibly the most stalkery LJ comment you will get ever, but it's well intentioned, so if it's not relevant or helpful to you, it'll at least be a "wow, I am easily trackable on the internet" story:

I don't know you, but I seem to see you around on the internet a lot both on here and yelp (we both use Rainier Vet!). I read your housing ad on the Seattle community a while back, and then the second housing ad later, detailing that there was now only one cat. I clicked through to your journal and read about your late cat Diesel. Belatedly, let me say I'm very sorry for your loss.

Anyway, today I was at the Dearborn Goodwill, and I saw two mugs with pictures of cats on them, one an orange cat named Diesel according to the mug, the other named Tori. Now maybe that's a more common name than I realize for a cat, and that's not your mug. And maybe you have a copy of that picture on your computer and didn't need the mug anymore, or some other reason. But I suffered the loss of my own cat about a week ago, and am in the phase where everything reminds me of her and makes me all weepy, and I kept picturing these mugs getting accidentally sent put in a goodwill box and how devastated I would be in your place if I lost something like that of my little girl. So I felt like I should shoot you a comment and let you know.

TL;DR: Creepy lurker says your cat mugs are at the Dearborn Goodwill.
Feb. 12th, 2010 06:12 am (UTC)
Aww! I definitely never had any mugs with my cat on them - Not because I didn't want them. I just never got around to it. I wish I still lived in Seattle - I'd totally buy the shit out of it.

I am so sorry you lost your kitty. I had to leave Lola behind when I moved. I'll pick her up soon, but until then...I miss her like crazy.
Feb. 12th, 2010 10:20 pm (UTC)
Darn! I was so sure I was going to be a cat-mug reuniting hero, but I guess I need to brush up on my internet stalking skills. Sorry to bug you, I hope you have a joyful reunion with Lola soon.
Feb. 15th, 2010 12:28 am (UTC)
I got the mug! Its not my kitten, but I wanted it anyway.
Apr. 9th, 2011 11:28 am (UTC)
Very happy I found your site. Will note it and return for more info.

Apr. 14th, 2011 02:01 pm (UTC)
Reading this was such a great help. Anti aging skin products is such a complicated thing and this article explained it well. Many thanks to this new information.

( 8 raindrops — Dance in the rain )

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